I'm a bad joke waiting to happen.

bobbycaputo:

Top priorities

bobbycaputo:

Top priorities

dennys:

WHO’S THAT DENNY’S DISH?

dennys:

WHO’S THAT DENNY’S DISH?

You know you’re good friends when this happens.

You know you’re good friends when this happens.

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

flockofflamingos:

Old Spice ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

everyone go home this is the best one.

Also apparently they’ve reached over $50 MILLION IN DONATIONS this is freaking amazing ;___;

WHY IS HE SO PERFECT.
MOTHER OF PEARL.

edwardspoonhands:

off-width:

hoodvale:

This post always slaps me in the face

Wow, no kidding.

This is not technically true…time did not exist before the big bang, so you really only spent 13.98 billion years not being born yet. Still a lot of years.

edwardspoonhands:

off-width:

hoodvale:

This post always slaps me in the face

Wow, no kidding.

This is not technically true…time did not exist before the big bang, so you really only spent 13.98 billion years not being born yet. Still a lot of years.

(Source: stresscomic)

sexpigeon:

Right there is where I got my first parking ticket. Was sitting outside of my car, my hand in a girl’s hair. Wanted badly for her to be my girlfriend and was readying some kind of move. Barely started kissing and bloop bloop, Officer Edmonton of the county parks department pulled up, accused us of being on drugs, cited me for blocking…something. Was unclear. She took this as a sign that our love was not meant to be. But soon enough we did properly date and we lasted a couple of years. Then we hurt each other as restless people do, and we didn’t speak for lots of years. 

Last year, her husband painted a portrait of the dog my wife and I own. I really like this painting. It hangs prominently in our living room. There are very nice things about growing up, and hushed forgivenesses are one of them.

sexpigeon:

Right there is where I got my first parking ticket. Was sitting outside of my car, my hand in a girl’s hair. Wanted badly for her to be my girlfriend and was readying some kind of move. Barely started kissing and bloop bloop, Officer Edmonton of the county parks department pulled up, accused us of being on drugs, cited me for blocking…something. Was unclear. She took this as a sign that our love was not meant to be. But soon enough we did properly date and we lasted a couple of years. Then we hurt each other as restless people do, and we didn’t speak for lots of years.

Last year, her husband painted a portrait of the dog my wife and I own. I really like this painting. It hangs prominently in our living room. There are very nice things about growing up, and hushed forgivenesses are one of them.

(Source: loverlist)

galentines:

hi am i invisible