I'm a bad joke waiting to happen.

I made a friend at the fair. #oleyfair #cowselfies

I made a friend at the fair. #oleyfair #cowselfies

As a friend, I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy. As a more than friend I’m glad I make you happy. As a selfish asshole, I’m glad you make me happy. :)

—my best friend

totallyfubar:

I have a physics textbook from before the electron was discovered and they just sound so frustrated it’s hilarious

Notable locations in Greek mythology

(Source: phthias)

bellecosby:

thatdudeemu:

queerasfuck88:

Jon Stewart Goes After Fox in Powerful Ferguson Monologue

I been waiting for the daily show to come back so they could cover this

Jon Stewart is a national treasure 

(Source: youtube.com)

bobbycaputo:

Top priorities

bobbycaputo:

Top priorities

dennys:

WHO’S THAT DENNY’S DISH?

dennys:

WHO’S THAT DENNY’S DISH?

You know you’re good friends when this happens.

You know you’re good friends when this happens.

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

flockofflamingos:

Old Spice ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

everyone go home this is the best one.

Also apparently they’ve reached over $50 MILLION IN DONATIONS this is freaking amazing ;___;

WHY IS HE SO PERFECT.
MOTHER OF PEARL.

edwardspoonhands:

off-width:

hoodvale:

This post always slaps me in the face

Wow, no kidding.

This is not technically true…time did not exist before the big bang, so you really only spent 13.98 billion years not being born yet. Still a lot of years.

edwardspoonhands:

off-width:

hoodvale:

This post always slaps me in the face

Wow, no kidding.

This is not technically true…time did not exist before the big bang, so you really only spent 13.98 billion years not being born yet. Still a lot of years.

(Source: stresscomic)